Want to change your life in ways that will really make a difference? Consider these 7 Steps to Change Your Life for Good.
I typically don’t like lists like this and I’ll tell you why later on…
However, I did some research on “how to change my life for good” (I Googled it) and there were over 4 Billion results (honest!).
This is obviously something people (like you) need to know (they’re asking Google, after all). I figured I’d try to help out and answer the question, too.
So, let’s get on with my list… You may notice that one leads to the next, and that one leads to the next, and so on… I like to build things that way, from the bottom up.
#1 Slow the Heck Down!
My top suggestion is to Slow Down. Really. We’re all busy busy busy. We don’t “have time” to slow down. I think if we take a hard look at our lives, we will notice we’re on social media, or distracted by things we don’t need to be doing just to keep busy. Here me out…
What happens when we slow down? Many things…
Connection
Reflection
Awareness/knowing
Priorities emerge
Peace
All, I believe, elements to a good life. If you don’t agree, you can stop reading right here and go on your way…
#2 Become Aware, Deeply Aware
I suggest you next focus on Becoming Aware. Aware of what? You! Others! (But mostly you!).
For example, instead of simply having a reaction to something someone said and walking off in a snit (or after you’ve walked off in a snit and you’re reflecting later on), stop and ask yourself “why did I react that way?” Answers to questions like this run pretty deep - maybe even back to your childhood. Which is exactly why you need to slow down and dig (if you still want to change your life).
Becoming aware of others can be fun! If it’s your coworker who walked off in a snit, think about the situation and what happened from the start… were they triggered by something someone said? Are they experiencing stress in other areas of their life? If you care about this person, you may even ask them later and gain awareness about their lived experience.
But remember becoming aware is mainly about you. What was your role in the situation? Could you have handled it better? Could you have reacted in a different way? Which leads to #3.
#3 Reflection
So, you guessed it - when you slow down and become aware, you have given yourself the opportunity to reflect on you and your current situation. You’ve been given a chance to learn about yourself by asking “Why?”
But what do you do when you do discover a nugget of truth? You thought it was in the past, but the past has a tricky way of really sticking around and bothering us by messing up our lives in a real sneaky way. How do you get past it? Check out #4.
#4 Release Held Energy
Yeah, this is a tough one. But hear me out… the reason for your reactions, behaviors, beliefs, opinions, and personal preferences can be attributed to your ego-based self-concept. All of the things that make us who we are today are designed by our ego. These ego aspects are the layers we need to release in order to rid our lives of drama and establish peace of mind.
Additionally, these aspects are not actual “things,” they are energy - thoughts are energy, memories are energy, your reactions and behaviors are energy. No wonder you’re exhausted, you’re using a lot of energy on all the drama in your life (whether you’re creating it or reacting to it)!
When you practice releasing this energy, you make space for new energy; how you use that energy is up to you. Are you going to use it to fuel more drama or will you use it on more reflection or awareness?
#5 Forgive Yourself
Yes, this one may be even harder than releasing. What do I need to forgive myself for? There’s probably many things, especially if you’re caught up in a negative cycle of self-criticism and negative talk, or if you once created some drama that has haunted you (Honestly, you may be stuck in a pattern of blaming others and haven’t yet recognized your role in the situation).
I firmly believe that everyone does the best they can with what they have and what they know at the time. When you give yourself a break and believe that you did the best you could in that difficult situation “back then,” then it becomes easier to forgive yourself.
And guess what happens when you do that? You release not-so-nice energy and you create more space.
#6 Practice Authenticity
When you forgive yourself of the ways you’ve treated yourself or others or whatever it is you needed to release, you start to give yourself a break and this is when actual change can begin to happen.
When you’re not so hard on yourself, you might start to appreciate who you see looking back at yourself (especially if you’re still slowing down and reflecting). You’ll like yourself a whole lot more if you act in a way that aligns with the new life that you want to create (peace of mind, less drama, finding a purpose). So, try on a new authentic behavior. Something that feels good and creates more positive energy around you.
This new behavior may be as “simple” as saying “no.” We all know it’s not easy, but it is simple. Admittedly, people don’t like it when you say no. It goes against their preconceived expectations of you (and your old behavior). To set boundaries and keep accumulating that good energy you want to use for changing your life, you need to learn to protect your energy by saying no sometimes.
#7 Give Up Caring What Others Think
When you start to see yourself changing and becoming more confident, you’ll also start to understand that what other people think of you doesn’t really matter. That right there, my friend, is fundamental to transforming your life. Believing this frees you up to be deeply authentic.
Say you’re interested in gemstones, but nobody else you know finds them interesting. You get the sense that your coworkers think you’re just a little bit odd because you have crystals and pretty rocks on your desk. When you start to embrace your interest you will find others who embrace it as well and what you suspect your coworkers think about you no longer matters (let the suspicion go - that’s wasting energy again).
So, that’s my list of 7 Ways to Change Your Life for Good:
Slow Down
Become Deeply Aware
Reflect
Release Held Energy
Forgive
Practice Authenticity
Give Up Caring What Others Think
Trust me, I have a lot more! I didn’t even go into meditation, creating connection, discovering and nurturing your purpose, saying what you mean, or gratitude practices!
Remember when I said I didn’t particularly care for lists like this? Well that’s because I’m not really helping you just by giving you a list.
You’ve read the article, now what will you do? Be honest. You’ll probably keep scrolling and scan through your Facebook feed or spend an hour or two on TikTok (or the hottest social media trend at the time you read this).
And you’ll go back to your drama and busy-ness and same old same old.
I truly would like to help you transform your life.
I’m not some big life changing guru. It’s just me, a Life Transformation Coach who can support you in discovering and developing your authentic self, your mighty potential, and creating a life of purpose, through empowerment, reflection, and connection to our higher selves.
Tracy
P.S. How do I know these things work? I did them myself; and yes, my life did change for good!
Categories: : change, coaching, deep coaching, practices, transformation