You may not realize your strong need to be seen. If you find that you're sharing too much, too often, consider why and know you are already seen.
How I Learned to See Myself and Let That Be Enough
I’ll admit, as a small business owner trying to grow my coaching and reiki practice into a thriving and flourishing entity, sometimes putting myself “out there” on social media and not getting any responses makes me feel invisible.
Which makes me feel like crap.
What I recently learned was that we all, as individuals, often feel unseen and invisible. So it’s not just me.
That’s often why we act the way we do. We tell people our stories hoping to be seen, out of a neurotic, egoic need to be seen. For example, when caring people ask me how my dad’s doing, I’ve started to share a little more about my experiences with him as he ages.
They don’t need to hear all the details, but I have sometimes felt the need to share them all - so someone would see and acknowledge my pain.
People express their need to be seen in many other ways as well - ranting, creating drama, gossiping, engaging in risky behaviors, becoming overly emotional, and over sharing on social media.
Feel my pain with me!
See that I’m struggling!
I’m angry, see that!
Commiserate with me and my pain!
Just see me!
Imagine the child who needs mom’s attention:
Mom! MOM! MOOOOOMMMMM!
Did you see me??
(true confession: I used to do this a lot!)
When we learn to slow down and become self-aware and we learn about the role of ego, when we get introduced to our inner child, and understand our true nature as spiritual energy - we learn that we are the only one who needs to see our pain.
When we acknowledge our pain with our own light, that’s all that’s needed. That’s enough.
When we acknowledge our pain, Spirit acknowledges our pain; the universe acknowledges our pain.
When we bring the light of awareness to our pain, there can be healing and release.
We are able to be self-compassionate toward the ego and our inner child who are struggling to be seen.
We see ourselves.
We see our own pain.
And we say: It’s okay, I see you.
I love you and you’re safe.
My practice is now to allow my pain from watching my father age and not share it with everyone indiscriminately from a need to feel seen.
I’ll allow it.
My practice now is to learn to put my business “out there” in a way that comes from my heart, not my unfounded need to be seen.
I will draw in the clients who need my help, because my marketing efforts will no longer come from a place of “I need you to see me because you must need what I offer, so SEE ME!”
I will allow my efforts to come from my heart with the message: “This is who I am; who’s resonating with my energy? Let’s chat.”